Q. What’s something terrible you did that you regretted immediately, but now, years/months later, don’t regret it at all? Why don’t you regret it anymore?
answered by Bobbie Esplin, Event Coordinator (2017-present)
When I was 23, I broke up with my boyfriend of three years by changing the locks on him while he was out on an alcoholic binge.
I dated a guy named Aaron. I was madly in love with him in my early 20’s. I thought we were going to make babies and live happily ever after. We had already adopted a dog together and we were living in and fixing up my home.
Aaron was an alcoholic though and all through our time dating he was tempted to drink for every and no reason at all. I tried to convince him to slow down, or only drink at home (so he wouldn’t be drinking and driving). All my attempts to curb his addiction failed. It all came to an accumulation on July 4th.
I was ill, unable to keep food down all day. We had planned on going out to see the firework display in our city that night but with me being ill, those plans were thwarted suddenly. I mentioned to Aaron that we could still watch the fireworks from our sofa since they were televised on a local channel. He agreed.
The later in the day it got, the more he wanted to go out and have a drink. “Just one.” He said. I agreed that if he promised it would just be the one, he could borrow my car and go to the nearby pub for a pint then come back home to watch the fireworks with me. He agreed and took my car.
I stayed up watching the show without him. In fact, when midnight rolled around he still was not back yet. I called my mother to come over. We discovered that my car was not just up the street but rather he had driven all the way across town to a bar he use to frequent and was completely smashed. I managed to get my car back thankfully. Then returned home with little to no contact with Aaron. My mother and I worked together to change the locks on the door so that his key would not work any longer once he decided to come home.
He showed up around 3 AM after the bars had closed. He started pounding on the door, threatening to kick it in. I called the Police. Explained the situation to them. He was told to leave. They escorted him inside to gather some clothing but then he had to go spend the night with his mother. He never came back. We broke up that night because of his drinking.
Once I went back to work after that night, I regretted my decision. I felt that I had given up too soon or thrown away something that could have been a great relationship. I had so many regrets about tossing him out like that but I also felt he abandoned me for his bad habit. I felt that drinking was more important to him than me when I was ill. It was hard to deal with at that time. I regretted breaking up with him for a year or so after it happened.
Then I didn’t regret it anymore. I found out through the grapevine of our mutual friends that his drinking ended up getting him fired. He really spiraled out of control after that night. I lost touch for a while with news about him until a few years later when I had moved out of state and a friend sent me a Facebook message inviting me to Aaron’s funeral. I declined but found out that he had died at a very young age (mid-30’s) because his heart had given out on him. He died in his sleep. He had high blood pressure and that combined with his drinking just killed him.
It was all very sad to hear about but I did not feel emotionally attached to him or his life choices any longer. I knew that he was addicted and there was no stopping him. It was sad because he could have been a great person, but he could not stay away from booze long enough to actually do anything great in his life.
Now I do not regret breaking up with him at all because I know that my life would have been miserable keeping track of him and his drinking or making adjustments to avoid him drinking or fighting the losing battle of wanting him to stop when he did not want to stop (plus his mother enabled him since he was an only child).
source : Quora