W ‘n B: bit of tongue in cheek comedy.. “No, we won’t be changing our plans.”
BrewCoin is a peer-to-peer digital signature network that radically decentralizes business emails with a revolutionary effect multiplier: wolves who haven’t eaten in 72 hours.
Having completed a rigorous analysis, Morning Brew crypto-analysts determined our slate of products suffers a troubling lack of intermediary nodes, chains, and “the hash factor.” With BrewCoin, we aim to address those deficiencies while unleashing packs of rabid wolves on readers’ homes when our system determines they have received our newsletter but have not yet vibed with it.
How it works: Every morning, we’ll send one (1) BrewCoin to your email inbox. Yes, we’ve been told that’s not how cryptocurrency works. No, we won’t be changing our plans.
Next, the BrewCoin system gives readers 47 minutes to read the newsletter. Why 47? a) it is the age of our leadership guru Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and b) we’re seeking to weed out the haters on our email list, and our proprietary system has determined that non-haters seldom wait longer than 47 minutes to read the newsletter.
The aforementioned lupine accountability system is activated for hater removal after passage of the 47th minute. Also blockchain.
Bottom line: With this innovative tech, we anticipate explosive growth. If you want to get in on the ground floor, we’d love to have you. If not, we have wolves.